It has been noted by many and just reaffirmed through my own experiences: opening up to reveal the feelings or experiences gnawing at our insides brings freedom. It no longer holds the power over us that we have been afraid to face. It no longer saps a part of our energy. That precious energy we are required to use to play our parts in this universe.We are at our most vulnerable, revealing the darkest moments or parts that have hidden in our deepest crevices. Mostly we don’t like looking at those parts within us, we don’t want to acknowledge the things we bottle up. We walk with these burdens and with every step weighing heavier and heavier on us. But if it were easy, if it didn’t cause waves or require intensity to enforce the carving of our true forms, we would not have kept it inside for so long. Allowing it to change the way we speak, see, feel and react to the environment around us. It’s easier for us to silence the voice within and keep a form of peace. It’s easier, but the deeper down that reality we go, the farther away we go from ourselves.The good news is there is a lightness once it hits the air! The cells in our body sigh an internal relief. There is some form of freedom through the way we offload and allow things to hit the air. It’s our responsibility in the way we offload. We need to get one step closer to our true purpose without the intention to harm another in doing so.At the end of this year, which has been a tough year with lessons strewn all over the seasons. We need to learn to let go of that which does not serve. Let go of connections not complimenting us. It seems that that’s one of our most difficult choices to make. Keeping things the same, keeping traditions or acknowledging that even though we fear the unknown we do know we can no longer bottle these things inside us. We can no longer continue in the way that is untrue to our purpose. We need to sit silently and listen to our energy bringing these things to our conscience and act accordingly.It will not be easy but we will focus on the positive things we have in our lives. We will show and give gratitude no matter how small. We shall play our parts and it will be beneficial to our environment. We will honestly assess our situations, free of our wants and desires and we will lovingly send off all that which no longer allows us growth on the journey to our trueness. We will not allow only our minds to make the decisions but also our gut. We will listen to all of our soul and acknowledge that when we are open, messages will filter from the universe in many ways. We will be blessed with guidance once we have accepted to no longer hide. We will set our intentions and be present to practice them daily through our actions. We will ride this incredible wave of opportunity to a greater and better us. Because we are our universe.
There’s something quite special about the dead of night turning into early morning hours….that silence, ever welcoming and enveloping. Sitting in a meditation position, legs crossed and palms facing upward together at center I start the road trip down to the coast. Feeling my toes wiggle, listening to the Eagles Hotel California as the music loosens my tightened neck muscles. “We are all just prisoners here of our own device”…. Wasn’t that true that our perceptions are sometimes limiting us and not the objects we perceive to be “blocking” our way. The white noise in the cabin a soothing background sound as thoughts drift and the body relaxes. It’s a warm cocoon of safety for me to just be. And yet subconsciously the emotions start to arise that I suppress during my day to day activities. Reflecting on the conversations had and what that means in my living microbe world. I imagine it’s like a warm clothe lovingly wiping my face, refreshing and renewed by each thought or feeling I deal with and move on from.
Regularly I remind myself that this body is a world of it’s own filled with micro organisms living in, off and complementing the form we take together. I am reminded that this body will be left behind and that the most important thing is that my soul would have grown and can freely rise and fly happily. The sun starts to show it’s face as the clouds turn from dark grey-black to a light grey-blue haze. Even though I can not see the sun it’s presence changes the scene subtly the same way that a thought or feeling can change a person’s demeanor. How easily we brush these things off and go on with our day… I whisper to myself promises of trying to be more present and allowing myself the pause to ‘feel’ things and throughout stay true to the inner voice within.
To love this form and the journey I am on with every part of my existence. Because thankfully this souls’ growth has been enormous and although I hunger for more I need to give back through my gift. Share freely the lessons before parting with this transformation to prepare in my cocoon for yet another leap.
Sometimes surviving is all you can do
Put one foot in front of another
Stitch your smile in place
And if all you did today was drag your beautiful battered body out of bed
It is better than nothing
It is one step closer, tell that to your head!
If today you couldn’t get out of bed
Then tomorrow holds another opportunity
To wake up and feel the sun on your face
To take a step in creating a new reality
To find your place
And it’s not a physical one
It is within
The place where your strength lies
The place where your fears and tears gather in running brooks
Some days running and others just wallowing
And people will let you down sweet child
Be kind and forgiving
They can only give of themselves as much as they are aware and capable,
As much as they have given their own souls.
Be of the school of thought; expecting nothing
And cherishing everything received.
The Baghavad Gita reads chapter 5 regarding the Doer: The man who has seen the truth thinks, “I am not the doer” at all times—when he sees, hears, touches, when he smells, eats, walks, sleeps, breathes, when he defecates, talks, or takes hold, when he opens his eyes or shuts them: at all times he thinks, “This is merely sense-objects acting on the senses.”
It is easy for me to fall into the trap of the doer. I make to do lists and create not only undue pressure when none is required, but have overly higher expectations of myself. Which is a vicious circle because when I don’t achieve the list, I am guilt tripped by my consciousness. I am then yet again a doer. Loosing myself in the mundane daily senses that numbs my soul and lessens my true focus.
When I keep doing what I feel is expected and not flowing in and out of serving, I am exhausted and drained of every creative ounce. When I get up, show up and just “be” available, productivity is just as great if not better than the doer. Because I am exactly where I need to be but it’s not energy sapping, it is energetic dancing throughout the days.
It is always so easy to get lost in the detail, become over obsessive, nit pick and forget the bigger picture. It is the cycle of many corporate resources. Sometimes you are taught this lesson by someone newer in the game than yourself and you are humbled again by the not so subtle Universe’s messaging “Tomorrow corporate will still be here….but will you? Will you truly “be” here?” Or will you be less of yourself, unhappy and robotic? Bleeding yourself out wondering what it’s all for?
Mario Savio said “There’s a time when the operation of the machine becomes so audious, makes you so sick at heart, that you cant take part. You cant even passively take part. And you got to put your body upon the wheels, upon the gears, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus and you’ve got to make it stop!!! And you’ve got to indicate to the people who own it and the people who run it, that unless you’re FREE the machine will be prevented from working at all!!!”
There is truth in this messaging: if we are not free, our souls are constrained and our energy drained from our true purpose – we are only half living and the machine is consuming us… We need to remain peace, balance and passion. Peace being: accepting we are the goal, balance implying we are nurturing all of ourselves and accept every part of ourselves as whole. Passionate by living out our soul’s purpose in this human existence.
I love fiercely as the lyrics of Mumford and Sons depicts: “And I will love with urgency
But not with haste.”
I believed in the concept of mine, until it was realised that there was no “I” either.
Fear and suffering had become part of physical scars, the beautiful strokes that Knowledge imparted.
Perhaps not as trusting as I could be, derived from chemistry-filled inclinations of flesh.
Not being able to rely on someone else, as lessons were learned about each souls’ needs.
Labeling sins as unforgivable and unacceptable, until I myself delved into them.
Arguing that loyalty like a shining katana was the way for the ever giving martyr.
Not accepting that souls can’t be more or less than they are, and learning to accept it with love.
Time and space a faraway concept, to my soul we are now one.
Touched souls share an energy and an ever lasting connection, regardless of how much distance they track in the opposite direction.
Mistakes made were treacherous yet beautiful, they provided growth to my soul.
They guided me to self care and love, accepting myself as Whole.
Ramana Maharshi said, “The idea that there is a goal . . . is wrong. We are the goal; we are always peace. To get rid of the idea that we are not peace is all that is required.”
I think I thought this thought before…
But it comes back to me in a much stronger form.
Perhaps another lesson to learn,
Perhaps it’s for someone else to be heard.
We are not broken to bits and pieces.
We are souls in acceptance.
We are not broken beyond repair.
We are all souls in training.
We are not broken in comparison to another.
We are souls in our own journey of enlightenment.
We are not broken at all.
We are souls in faith and peace.
We are not broken in any way that we perceive,
We just have enough holes for the light to shine in and love our darkness.
Our light and darkness in pure balance,
We’re told the change brings with it contrasts,
Like flames flickering against a black canvas in the darkest of nights.
That this change, although welcoming, demands with a burning lashing to release that which does not serve.
It is not subtle in its quest but it is giving to our resolve.
That the family trauma of where we’ve been is interlinked somehow in us as we stand today.
It aligns so well to the steps we have taken to heal this trauma and send back unwanted gifts in the form of burdens. Return to sender written on the package in big fiery bold letters. This no longer serves a purpose in our lives nor was it ever “ours” to begin with, please receive with love.
We are no longer required to vibrate at the level of serving from an empty cup, we were never required to, to begin with. Yet we self sacrifice to the serving of others.
We can not truly be outwardly kind if we aren’t being inwardly kind simultaneously.
We are then out of balance and in need of this alignment within.
We are forced to step out into the world as adults. The little child within included and claim a practice to ensure our souls growth and self love.
We are, adult and child merged into one, to vibrate at the roaring heights we were meant to.
We are to learn self love of all of our being.
We are to be our greatest self before we can serve in the true way our soul has intended.
We are to trust in ourselves and be sure footed through this alignment.
Yet kind and accepting to our soul’s path.
We are to learn from this time, whether we have chosen to do so consciously or not.